I still remember it as if it were yesterday.
A cold and frosty November morning when Master Richie came into the world.
I have a son.
And I, Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury...
...born in the tradition of service...
... was to become his gentleman 's gentleman...
...or as you Americans would say, his butler.
Richie Rich was the long-awaited first child of Richard and Regina Rich...
...and at 7 pounds, 6 ounces, was immediately proclaimed...
... the wealthiest baby in the world.
Truly, Master Richie was born into a life of great wealth and privilege...
...and yet, he was assuredly his parents ' most valued treasure.
Can you say, ''WaII Street''?
''WaII Street''?
-Can you say, ''bIue chip''? -Bunches and bunches of money.
-That's how much mommy Ioves you. -Can you say, ''convertibIe debenture''?
From the day he left his cradle...
...I undertook to show him all that was good in life.
And I am delighted to report that never was there a child...
... with a sweeter disposition.
...or a more spirited sense of play.
Although his father, the senior Richard Rich...
...spent countless hours in his office, overseeing his vast business empire...
Rich to buy 1 00 miIIion acres of jungIe.
...he still found time to share simple pleasures with his son.
Thank you, Cadbury.
Go and buiId it anyway.
As he grew, Master Richie developed a keen interest in sports.
Just a minute. Great toss, son.
-Beep beep, coming through. -He had everything a boy could want.
Although at the age of 3...
...his driving skills left something to be desired.
We have to have our Arab friends understand that. Just a minute.
Nice throw, sIugger.
With baseball, however, he displayed a quite precocious talent...
Next Tuesday, right.
... which, as the years progressed...
...became more than just a favorite pastime.
Not bad. Let's try this this time.
I want you to get the back eIbow up.
That a way. Get the bat right here. ShouIders square.
Nice IeveI swing. Keep your eye on the basebaII.
Okay, pitch. Put some heat on it this time.
That's it.
Nice hitting, Richie.
Sorry, CharIes!
Good cIubbing, Master Richie. You're scoring Ioads of points.
They're caIIed runs, Cadbury. Runs.
Of course. But I'm afraid we must run, sir.
-Can I have just one more inning? -That reaIIy isn't possibIe.
-Thank you, Mr. Jackson. -You're weIcome, Richie. Any time.
AII right, pack it aII up.
In addition to his life of fun and games, of luxury and privilege...
...Master Richie was obliged to undertake responsibilities beyond those...
-...of any normal child. -It's a great day for a ceIebration. . .
. . .and a great day for United TooI!
We're gonna wait for Mr. Rich because he said he'd be here.
Today marks a miracIe of sorts here at United TooI.
This factory, once bankrupt, and 600 jobs about to disappear forever. . .
. . .is now ceIebrating a new Iease on Iife. . .
. . .thanks to biIIionaire businessman and phiIanthropist Richard Rich.
And it Iooks Iike Richard Rich wiII be arriving here in moments.
Hi. My dad couIdn't make it, so he sent me. I'm Richie.
FeIIas, come on. Let me through.
WeIcome to United TooIs, Richie. My name is Dave WaIter, the pIant manager.
This is Diane Koscinski, our union rep.
Diane's gonna be making our presentation.
-We're reaIIy gIad you couId come. -Me too. This is Cadbury.
-Master Richie's vaIet. -Oh, a vaIet? Never met one of your type.
That doesn't aItogether surprise me, madam.
Richie who?
What pIanet you been Iiving on? Richie Rich, the richest kid in the worId.
And now, our union rep, Diane Koscinski, is gonna make our presentation.
Look, GIoria, your mom's gonna make a speech.
Who cares about speeches? Let's pIay some baII.
FeIIow workers. . . .
-GIoria, Iet's go! -Come on, guys, Iet's pIay!
It isn't just this company, it's the whoIe town.
And on this speciaI morning. . .
. . .the first day of retooIing that's gonna bring our jobs back. . .
. . .we're gonna ask Richie to accept. . .
. . .a goId-pIated socket wrench set for his dad.
Thank you, Richie.
On behaIf of my dad, thanks for the wrenches.
I know my dad Ioves socket wrenches. I know I Iove socket wrenches.
If my mom knew what a socket wrench was, I'm sure she'd Iove it too.
I'd Iike to stay, but I gotta go do my homework.
It's been reaI.
Thank you. I'm sure you'II aII join me. . .
. . .in giving Richie a big United TooIs thank-you!
I hope you're hungry. We got wieners on the griII. Make sure you have partners. . .
. . .for that egg toss. PIenty of prizes and you're gonna win one. You are.
This is a great day, and I hope you aII stick around to enjoy it.
We've got pIenty of games, pIenty of contests.
Lots and Iots of things for the kids.
Heads up.
This area is not secure, sir. PIease return to the heIicopter.
-I wanted-- -I said--
Don't touch him.
Master Richie. . .
. . .you have a very busy afternoon, so we must be on our way.
It's my job to protect him.
Very weII, Mr. Ferguson, but grab him Iike that again. . .
. . .and you wiII need protection.
-Poor kid. -''Poor kid''? What are you taIking about?
He's the richest kid in the worId.
You don't have chiIdren, do you, Dave?
Hey, it's taking off.
Man, it must be cooI to have everything.
-Come on, Iet's pIay baII. -Yeah, Iet's go.
Come on, GIoria, put it over. Let's go.
It was then that Richie realized there was something missing in his life.
Something simple.
Something money could not buy.
Yes, Mrs. Rich, we're fIying over the estate now. We'II be arriving shortIy.
What? Oh, I'm sure he'II be very happy to hear the news.
Master Rich, your father is home from his business trip.
Great.
-Richie. -HeIIo, James. Hobbes.
WeIcome home, sir.
DoIIar! Come here. Come here.
Good. What you doing? What's going on?
Where's Mom and Dad?
Mount Richmore?
I said we needed a famiIy portrait, Regina. . .
-. . .but this? -It was RafaeIIa's idea.
She's the artist. I didn't want to stifIe her creativity.
Oh, honey, you know me. I'm aII for the arts.
Don't you think it's a tad pretentious?
Our faces 1 00 feet high?
Wait tiII GeraIdo gets ahoId of this.
Richard, dove, you're overreacting.
Say, how'd she get it done so fast?
I've been gone a week.
Professor Keenbean invented a proton particIe maximizer. Something Iike that.
Anyway, it seems to do the job.
My cheeks are too puffy.
I know, I know, Regina. I put on a few pounds.
But you have to admit that I do Iook puffy up there.
-Dad. -Hey, sIugger. Great to see you.
How you doing, big feIIa?
How was the ribbon-cutting at United?
-Great. They gave you a gift. -They did?
-Socket wrenches, sir. -Oh, socket wrenches.
Son, I Iove a good socket wrench.
Dad, whiIe I was there, there were these kids pIaying basebaII.
-BasebaII? Great. -Yeah. And so--
Excuse me, sir. It's a teIephone caII, the president.
-What country? -This one, sir.
ProbabIy needs another Ioan. This won't take Iong. I'II be right back.
Mom, I was wondering.
If it's okay, can I invite some kids over?
Of course, dear.
A dinner party. You just teII me who and when and we'II send out the invitations.
-Not a party, Mom. Just something-- -InformaI? AII right, then.
More Iike a buffet.
We can use the Oak Room. That room is Iarge enough. . .
-. . .to accommodate your friends. -My friends--
They're aIways busy. I don't wanna bother them.
Excuse me, Master Richie.
It's time for your chemistry Iesson with Professor Keenbean.
-Do I have to? -A scheduIe, sir, is Iike a house of cards.
Take one away and they aII come tumbIing down.
-Mom? -I'm afraid so, Richie.
--caIcuIus, weII, then, where are we?
In the Rich Manor basement, you stockholders...
...are looking at the answer to the problem of waste management.
I, Professor Keenbean here, with Rich Industries ' latest breakthrough:
The subatomic molecular reorganizer!
Useless garbage is broken down to its basic molecular components...
... then recombined to form a whole range of useful new items...
...from bedpans to bowling balls.
Hey, need a new bedpan? I know I do.
It's quick, it's easy, and in no time at all...
... we've taken 1 5 pounds of yesterday's garbage and transformed it...
...into a beautiful new bed-- Bowling ball. There's one.
Twins. And what family doesn 't need a spare?
Here they come. Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Cut! Cut!
Cut, cut, cut.
StiII not working, is it, professor?
StiII a few kinks need ironing out, but not to worry.
-You ready for your chemistry tutoriaI? -I'm not in the mood.
What eIse are you working on?
This one wiII fry your circuits.
I don't mean to pIay favorites, but I'm stuck on this one.
It's a new adhesive.
Ten times stickier than the strongest adhesive known to man.
I caII it ''Cementia'' !
Wait tiII you see what's over here.
HeIp me. HeIp me.
Hey, PauIa! Listen up!
Suck in the cheeks!
-Bad news, I'm afraid, honey. -Don't teII me you're fIying out again.
Tonight after dinner. I'm sorry.
We were supposed to spend some time together.
How do you put up with me?
WeII, you do have $ 70 biIIion.
Is that the onIy reason?
No.
You aIso have a cute butt.
Cadbury, did you hear that?
Indeed, sir. Madam admires your butt.
I'm most deIighted for you.
Now, this makes any fabric instantIy impervious.
Dirt proof, stain proof, waterproof, and--
Sherman!
Guess so. PuIIed the hair off my head--
Fire in the hoIe!
And buIIetproof. It's not perfect. It's heII on the dry-cIeaning biII.
No kidding.
Nice grouping, Sherman.
-What's this, a bee? -Nope. That's a paperweight.
This is a bee.
A hundred bees working overtime couIdn't poIIinate Iike this baby.
BehoId Robo-Bee.
Here. Take it for a test fIight.
HandIes Iike a dream, huh?
CarefuI. Teams of scientists have worked day and night. . .
. . .deveIoping the Iatest in microcircuit technoIogy.
Your afternoon tea, sir.
MiIIions and miIIions of doIIars have been spent on this one bee aIone.
Come here! Come here, you! Come! You're gonna need this!
Thirty-seven and a haIf miIes of driveway. You park in the 5 feet with a puddIe.
I'm very sorry, sir.
You're sorry. WeII, in that case, find another job.
Good evening, Mr. Van Dough. It's nice to see you, sir.
I've checked their scheduIe. I've got the perfect time--
Not now, moron. We'II taIk Iater.
Thank you very much, Mr. Van Dough, sir.
-HeIIo? -Richie, dear.
Are you sure you don 't want to dine with us?
It's okay, Mom. I reaIIy don't Iike that guy.
That's aII right, dear. Neither do I.
But foie de veau is very good for you.
Liver is rich in protein.
It's so tasty too.
Bye, Mom.
Laurence, Iet's get back to what you were saying. . .
-. . .about our charitabIe contributions. -Yes, sir.
I'm aII in favor of charity, sir, but your donations. . .
. . .are costing the corporation a biIIion doIIars a year. . .
. . .and I think it's time we asked ourseIves:
-What are we getting for it? -What are we getting?
We're getting food banks, medicaI cIinics, sheIters for the homeIess--
It's Laurence's job to keep an eye on the bottom Iine.
Which is aIso why I have to oppose the United TooI acquisition.
We shouId be getting rid of dead weight, not acquire it.
I agree.
-That's why I'm getting rid of United TooI. -Richard! AII those peopIe and their jobs!
That is briIIiant. I shouId've thought of it.
We buy the company in bankruptcy. LeveI the factories.
No, no, Laurence. I'm keeping the factory open, Iike I said.
Then we go in and we bust the unions. . .
. . .sIash benefits, and then we seII the company.
No. We give it away.
We give it-- We give it away.
AbsoIuteIy. We modernize it, of course, and retooI.
Then we turn the factory over to the workers.
Richard, that's a wonderfuI pIan.
Mr. Rich! Mr. Rich!
Mr. Rich. I've done it.
-May I present the SmeIImaster. -Keenbean, that's fantastic.
Richie, come down here and try this.
GIasses heIp us see better, and hearing aids heIp us hear better.
We shouId have something to heIp us smeII better.
We do, dear. It's caIIed ChaneI.
But the SmeIImaster 9000 converts any smeII within 20 yards. . .
. . .into a digitaI audio signaI. Here, son. Try it.
Wine, Petite Syrah. 197 4.
Roses. Hilversum. Demi-bloom. Fresh-cut.
-CooI. -That's marveIous.
Foie de veau. Calves ' liver.
-Richie. -Better make some adjustments, Dad.
This thing's way out of whack. Can I be excused? Thank you.
Come on, DoIIar. Traitor.
Sir, this is preciseIy the sort of thing I'm taIking about. Toys Iike that.
Toys? Good God, man.
To me, it represents. . .
. . .good oId-fashioned ingenuity and know-how.
Right, Keenbean?
Yes, sir.
I see, sir, you bought a new Monet.
-SpectacuIar. -Thanks.
Might I suggest you consider beefing up the security system?
I don't think that'II be necessary. After aII, aII of our reaI vaIuabIes. . .
. . .are Iocked in the Rich famiIy vauIt.
VauIt?
The famiIy vauIt?
Someday I'II give you a tour.
I'd Iike that.
Again, thank you for a IoveIy evening.
It is our great pIeasure.
-Good night. -Good night.
-Drive carefuIIy. -Seat beIt.
-Morning, CharIes. -Good morning, BiIIy.
I gotta get another job.
Morning, sir. It's time.
Rise and shine, Master Richie. Let's not be a sIug abed.
You have a very busy scheduIe in front of you.
Oh, what a beautifuI morning.
Come aIong. You mustn't keep your personaI trainer waiting.
PIease teII ArnoId I reaIIy don't feeI Iike exercising today.
I hope you don't mind, but ArnoId canceIed.
So I'II be fiIIing in today. My name is CIaudia.
And arms to sides. Bend your Iegs. Stretch.
And aII the way up. And one more time. Down and back up.
Now stretch to the Ieft. To the right.
One more time.
Cadbury, about ArnoId--
ArnoId's history, sir.
Now, aII the way back down.
Stretch reaI hard, and up. And inhaIe and exhaIe.
DadIink on.
Locate Dad.
Hiya, slugger.
Locating Dad now.
Exact coordinates will be pinpointed in 1 1 seconds...
... 1 0, nine...
...eight, seven....
Four....
Mr. President, if the government spends more money than it takes in. . .
. . .it goes into debt.
Excuse me, Mr. President. It's the DadIink.
-DadIink? -It's my personaI communication system. . .
. . .to my son. It's a prototype.
Yes, Richie. What is it?
Hi, Dad. What you doing?
I'm discussing economic poIicy with the president. Is this important?
Well, Dad, I think I'm getting a zit.
What do you think?
Could we talk later?
Oh. Sure, Dad. I'm sorry. I'll see you tonight.
-Bye. -See you.
Bye.
CongratuIations on the zit, sir.
Thank you, Cadbury.
And I'II coIIect you after schooI, as usuaI.
-Good hunting, sir. -Thank you, Cadbury.
Let's move on to case study number 1 2.
Your company is in dire straits.
SaIes are down 50 percent due to stiff price competition.
Dividends are faIIing. StockhoIders are demanding. . .
. . .you step down as chairman of the board.
Now, here's your probIem.
How do you raIIy the board of directors to your side. . .
. . .and stave off impending bankruptcy?
ReynoIds?
I'II have my secretary get back to you on that one.
EIIsworth, how wouId you get the board on your side?
Bribe someone.
Sit down, EIIsworth.
ReginaId, what wouId you do?
What wouId I do? SimpIe.
I'd fIoat a rumor we're the object of a takeover bid.
And as soon as our stock went up, I'd seII.
That's not onIy unethicaI, ReginaId, it's iIIegaI.
I'm onIy 1 2.
I can't be heId IegaIIy responsibIe.
Good point.
Rich, are you and Cuthbert passing notes again?
-No, sir. -Cuthbert?
CapitaI appreciation is aII weII and good. . .
. . .but not without a sound growth strategy.
WeII, I've onIy got one word to say to you: pork beIIies.
So, what do you think, Rich?
I think aII we ever taIk about is money. We shouId be having fun.
Money is fun.
AII I'm saying is, I'm wondering if you can come this weekend. . .
. . .and hang out.
-Hang out? -Yeah, Iike normaI kids.
You know, you're reaIIy acting weird, Richie. Anyway, no can do.
I promised my dad I'd go to Tokyo for a hostiIe takeover.
-EIIsworth? -Sorry, trustees' meeting.
Watch your rear, EIIsworth. First ruIe of defense.
This is a cappuccino. I asked for a decaf caffe Iatte, you incompetent imbeciIe!
If you can't do the job, you--
First ruIe of defense, Reg. AIways watch your rear.
Sir, your Latin tutoriaI has been moved back an hour.
That gives you time for a spot of poIo.
Then on to your tax Iaw seminar.
Oh, and this coming weekend, big treat.
You and your parents are fIying to London to take tea with Her Majesty.
Is something amiss, sir?
My friends are too busy to hang out. . .
. . .and now I'm too busy to hang out.
You must understand you're being groomed. . .
. . .for a Iife of weaIth and responsibiIity. Certain sacrifices must be made.
Sacrifices.
Cadbury, I'm changing my scheduIe. Bascomb?
-Sir. -Make a right.
-Yes, sir. -You--
Come on, pitcher.
You're supposed to hit the baII.
Come on, GIoria.
CooI car.
Hey, guys. Check it out.
Master Richie, pIease.
You can't pIay with those chiIdren. I must protest.
Cadbury, chiII. I'II be fine.
But they probabIy haven't even been vaccinated.
Hi, guys. I'm Richie.
-We know who you are. -What, no chopper?
Dad hardIy ever Iets me take the heIicopter.
Oh, no chopper to go to schooI?
-What are you doing? -I was wondering. . .
-. . .if maybe I can pIay with you guys? -PIay?
Not!
Come on. Let me hit.
You probabIy couIdn't hit a beach baII.
I can hit off of you.
You think you're so hot. Put your money where your mouth is.
-You mean bet? -Yeah. Five says she puts you away.
Five? How about 1 0?
Okay. Seems a IittIe steep, but 1 0,000 it is.
No, no. Not 1 0,000. Ten doIIars.
Ten doIIars. Okay.
I was going to McDonaId's with this money.
-Dust him. -No probIem.
Mr. Fancy Pants is going down.
Master Richie, I do think it unseemIy in the extreme. . .
. . .for you to take these-- These chiIdren's money.
What are you doing? Asking the oId guy for batting tips?
Hit a touchdown, Master Richie.
Come on, GIoria. Right over the pIate.
-Strike him out, GIoria. -Come on, GIoria.
Come on, GIoria!
-Hey, batter, batter, batter. -Easy money. Come on.
-Strike him out. -You got it, GIoria.
Fire it in there.
This is a piece of cake.
We got the money in the bag. Let's go. Come on.
-Burn it in. -Come on, GIoria.
Oh, yes, Master Richie! Yes!
-Yes! Yes! -Oh, man.
There goes my Iunch money.
Lucky swing, I guess.
I was wondering if you couId come over to my house--
Pee Wee, give him the money.
-I don't want your money. -I said, take it.
You don't beIong here.
TruIy a prodigious bIow, Master Richie.
Thank you.
Perk up. It won't be Iong before you're having tea and crumpets with the queen.
I'd rather eat a hot dog at WrigIey.
So wouId I, son, so wouId I.
Oh, Richard, you're not seriousIy considering. . .
. . .giving the queen the SmeIImaster?
Why not, Regina? I think she'd get a kick out of it.
Anything to take her mind off those chiIdren of hers.
Security check's compIete, sir.
I hope you and your famiIy have a great time.
Thank you, Mr. Ferguson, thank you.
-Cadbury? -Madam?
What's bothering Richie?
He tried to make friends with some chiIdren yesterday.
It wasn't a great success.
-The poor dear. -Might I make a suggestion, madam?
-Anything. -Why not Iet Master Richie. . .
. . .stay here? Young gentIemen are apt to find royaI functions a trifIe boring.
Whereas here, I couId provide a busy scheduIe of distractions.
Cadbury, you're a genius. I'II go teII Richie.
AII aboard.
I couId Iive here.
-It's huge. -You think they got a pooI?
It ain't no house. It's a whoIe 'hood.
-I've seen bigger. -Are you kidding?
The pIace probabIy has got its own zip code.
Excuse me, Master Richie.
Sensing you were at a Ioose end, I've arranged for a IittIe entertainment.
I'm reaIIy not in the mood for the Vienna Boys' Choir today.
SadIy, the choir was unavaiIabIe, sir. But I did make other arrangements.
I don't beIieve it.
AII right, come on.
Thanks, Cadbury, I owe you one.
-Hi, guys. -Hey, rich man.
-Just checking out your crib, here. -Crib?
I beIieve that's street sIang for ''home,'' sir. An idiom.
Who you caIIing an idiom?
And now, if you wish, sir, Iuncheon is served.
AII right. Food! I Iike this pIace.
I hope you didn't go to too much troubIe.
Not at aII. I prepared a simpIe, yet eIegant menu. . . .
It sounds deIicious.
However, Master Richie was of the opinion. . .
. . .that his young guests deserve a break today.
You have your own McDonaId's? No way!
Not bad.
-This is great. -I want a Big Mac.
I'm doing an anaIysis of the secret sauce.
Come on, guys, get him. Get out of my way.
-Nice shot. -I'II be right back.
Come on.
It's caIIed the DadIink.
It's practicaIIy the onIy way I taIk to my dad. He's away a Iot.
I know what you mean. My dad Iives in CaIifornia.
If we didn't e-maiI, I'd probabIy never taIk to him.
Give me the baII. Come on.
Man, he'd Iike this pIace, though.
Must be cooI to have everything.
So you guys wanna pIay, or what?
Hey, I got an idea. Wanna try the KiddipuIt?
The KiddipuIt?
-UnbeIievabIe! -That was so cooI!
That was great!
That was nothing. You guys wanna pIay tag?
-Tag? -Tag?
In the gentIe hand of the gardener Iies the hand of God.
-Are you a Sagittarius? -No, madam.
-Pisces? -No, madam.
-Leo? -No. No, I'm a Taurus.
I knew it. The buII.
-Correct, madam. -Oh, Iook, don't caII me madam, okay.
I don't Iike the connotation. My name's Diane.
Of course, Diane.
And how about you? You got a first name?
-Of course. -And?
-Herbert. -Herb.
No, it's Herbert. I'm not a seasoning.
Do I detect a rising fire sign, Herbert?
You, Diane, are a Capricorn.
Hey, how did you know that?
Yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah!
Man, this is the best day of my Iife!
-Me too. -The day's not over yet.
You mean, there's more?
-Your own roIIer coaster. -Check it out.
-Awesome! -It's so big!
That is cooI.
My dad gave me this Iast Christmas. It's pretty intense.
-Yeah, I just ate. -You aIways just ate.
Now, their pIane ought to be about right here by now.
Just about time for me to move into a much bigger office.
Roger that, center. Billion Dollar One, over and out.
WouId you take over for a whiIe, darIing? I think I'd Iike some coffee.
Don't go sneaking into those chocoIates. They're reserved for the queen.
Regina, I'm dieting. The Iast thing I want is chocoIate.
Where are those chocoIates?
Up, up.
ChocoIates. ChocoIates.
SmeIImaster.
Handkerchiefs. Hand-embroidered.
Marble egg. Fabergé.
Trinitrotoluene.
I'II teII him you caIIed. Thank you.
Open it.
DarIing, this one doesn't have a tag. Do you know what it is?
-No, I don't. -The SmeIImaster says it's trinitrotoIuene.
And if my memory serves me right, trinitrotoIuene is the proper name for. . . .
TNT!
-Good God, Regina. It's a bomb. -Get rid of it!
Richie, this is great!
To the new chairman of Rich Industries:
Me.
WeII, it's been a sIice. Maybe I'II see you around sometime, huh?
Yes, you never can teII.
When you get off the embaIming fIuid, give me a caII, Herbert.
-Thanks a Iot for coming over. -No probIem.
Don't forget. BasebaII next Wednesday.
-3:30. -I'II be there.
Hey, wait. What about our hundred bucks?
-I said, forget about that, Tony. -What hundred bucks?
The penguin-Iooking dude said he'd give us $ 1 00 for coming to pIay with you.
-GIoria, I didn't know that-- -Look. Nobody has to pay us anything.
End of story.
See you Iater, Richie. We had a great time.
Master Rich, I reaIIy am most dreadfuIIy sorry.
-Mr. Cadbury! -Excuse me.
Master Rich. . . .
What?
It's your parents.
-DadIink on. -Hiya, slugger.
-Locate Dad. -Locating Dad now.
Signal contact: negative.
Power increase.
Searching.
Dad not found.
Mr. Van Dough, sir?
Fergie, entrez.
I was just thinking that after I pIunder the Rich famiIy vauIt. . .
. . .I think I'd Iike to buy a country somewhere.
Something smaII, not too ostentatious.
Luxembourg, perhaps, or maybe Ecuador.
Sir, it seems we have a sIight probIem.
The boy wasn't on the pIane, sir.
FecuIent fooI! After aII of my carefuI pIanning--
AII right.
I got rid of the king and the queen.
I don't think the boy prince wiII be any probIem at aII.
The plane has been missing more than 1 2 hours.
But despite the biggest air and sea search in U.S. naval history...
... there is still no sign of billionaires Richard and Regina Rich...
...missing since the apparent crash of their plane.
They're aIive, Cadbury. I know it.
And wherever they are, Master Richie, I'm sure they're together. . .
. . .and happy.
Richard, if we ever get out of this. . .
. . .I'm gonna soak for a week in a vat of OiI of OIay.
Why haven't they found us yet?
WeII, probabIy because the Iocator transmitter in the pIane. . .
. . .is under a miIe of water.
UnIess we can see a Radio Shack soon, we can kiss off any chance. . .
. . .of getting my DadIink to work.
There's onIy one person ruthIess enough to set off a bomb on our pIane.
-When I get my fingers-- -We don't know for sure.
Oh, Richard, wake up and smeII the seaweed!
You shouId have fired him years ago.
I've never fired anyone in my Iife. I don't intend to start now.
But Van Dough. . . .
He thought Richie was on the pIane with us.
Regina, we have to survive. . .
. . .if onIy to warn Richie. His Iife is in danger.
Ladies and gentIemen. . .
. . .before we begin, I'd Iike to observe a moment of siIence. . .
. . .on the tragic passing of Mr. and Mrs. Rich.
Now, first order of business:
United TooI.
What do you mean, they cIosed the factory?
It just happened. My mom and everyone eIse got fired.
I didn't know. You gotta beIieve me.
Hey, I'm really sorry about your parents, but can 't you help?
I don't know if I can do this, Cadbury.
Remember this. . . .
-What's that mean? -It means you have the power. . .
. . .of your father inside you.
Kind of Iike, ''Trust the Force, Luke. ''
ExactIy, sir.
It's so hard.
Sir?
Mr. Richard Rich Jr. to see you.
Miss FairchiId, I need those memos done by 3:00 today.
Yes, sir, Mr. Van Dough, sir.
Richie, Richie, Richie. . . .
AIIow me to express my heartfeIt sympathies over your Ioss.
We aII Ioved your mother and father very much.
My parents are aIive.
I pray nightIy that they are.
We're doing everything we can to coordinate the search effort.
PIease, have a seat.
-What have you come to see me about? -WeII, untiI my parents come back. . .
. . .I've taken a. . . .
SabbaticaI, sir.
I've taken a sabbaticaI from schooI.
You know, so I can be here and run things.
Run things.
Richie, the job of senior officer. . .
. . .of a muIti--
NationaI corporation. . .
. . .it's very demanding business.
Hours go, weII just, way past your bedtime.
So I think that it's best to Ieave this job to. . .
. . .an aduIt who has experience in these matters. Okay?
I don't think so.
By the way, Cadbury, how much stock do I own?
UntiI your parents are found, sir, as the soIe heir. . .
. . .you own 51 percent of the voting stock.
You're not of IegaI age to exercise your voting rights.
But I am, sir.
And under the terms of the Rich estate, I stand in loco parentis...
. . .and Guardian ad Litem to Master Richie.
And accordingIy, I give him fuII proxy power and authority.
And by the way, United TooI stays open.
Fine.
Round one to you, sir.
With the Iosses in our manufacturing division, this wiII necessitate--
Sorry.
WiII necessitate some empIoyee downsizing.
Downsizing. You mean fire peopIe.
WeII, caII it what you wiII, Richie.
It is our job to cut the fat.
Mr. Van Dough, my father never fired anybody.
He aIways said when peopIe are secure in their jobs. . .
. . .they work harder, happier and better.
So I think if we need to cut the fat, I say we start right here.
-Good morning. -Morning.
-Morning. Your messages. -Morning, SyIvia.
-Morning, Mr. Rich. -Morning.
Yeah, Marvin, I understand that.
Yes, but if aII of our divisions are doing record-breaking business. . .
. . .how come Rich candy bars are down 1 2 percent?
Oh, come on. Have you ever actuaIIy tasted a Rich bar?
He'II get back to you as soon as possibIe, Mr. Iacocca. Goodbye.
Richie Rich's office. Yes.
TaIk about gumbaIIs.
Richie Rich's office. I'm sorry. He's not avaiIabIe. He's in conference.
-I'II have him caII you. -Excuse me. We'd Iike to see Richie.
-And you are? -Hey, they're free!
-We're his friends. -We wanna thank him. . .
-. . .for reopening the factory. -Mr. Rich is much too busy to see anyone.
But wait, we can--
Richie Rich's office.
Hey!
Excuse me! Somebody heIp!
-I didn't do it! I didn't do it! -Get Pee Wee. We're going in.
Come on, Iet's go.
-I didn't do it. -Are you aII right?
-Richie. -GIoria? Hey, guys.
CIose the door.
I'II have to get back to you, Marvin.
Yeah, my new research and deveIopment team just waIked in.
-What? -What?
And finaIIy, after extensive and exhausting taste testing. . .
. . .by my new research and deveIopment team. . .
-Hi. -How you doing?
. . .I've concIuded that we must increase our nut proportion by 1 5 percent.
We simpIy cannot Iet our competition be nuttier than we are.
-Yes. -That's our idea.
-Come on, guys. -Excuse me.
Excuse me. Coming through.
AII those in favor of my motion?
AII opposed?
I hate that kid.
No, no. CIockwise, cIockwise. I said, massage cIockwise.
Migraines are bad enough without your incompetence. Get out!
Yes, sir, Mr. Van Dough.
Now, you Iisten. I want you to put the revised pIan we discussed into action.
And this time, make sure the gIoves come off.
-GIoves, sir? -It's a metaphor, hamhead.
WeII, that's it, honey.
We're out of Perrier. Caviar's gone, and there's no more MeIba toast.
The onIy thing we've got Ieft is a bottIe of Dom.
And this IittIe packet of BubbIicious. Richie's favorite.
He's onIy 1 2 years oId, Richard. He's just a boy.
Now, Regina, I'm sure whatever happens, he's going to be just fine.
-Oh, my God! -What is it?
-We're saved! We're saved! -What? What? What?
My Louis! DarIing, my suitcase.
And when my father gets back, I'm sure he'II be happy to see what we've done.
The profits from every division have gone up on a record-breaking rise.
-It doesn't give you the right-- -I'm sorry, but this is poIice business.
-Herbert Cadbury! -Yes.
You're under arrest.
-Pardon? -What is this?
You can't just burst in here. What is the meaning of this?
We received a tip and searched the Rich mansion.
Bomb parts, detonation devices found in Herbert Cadbury's room.
-Preposterous. -You're under arrest. . .
. . .for Mr. and Mrs. Rich's murder.
I don't know what you're taIking about. Don't worry. I'm sure it's a mistake.
Cadbury! Cadbury!
Richie, poIice have him now. Best stay here.
Do you understand that you can stop these proceedings. . .?
Richie, is it true that Mr. Cadbury pIanted a bomb on your parents' jet?
Do you think they were murdered?
-How do you feeI? -What's the future of United TooI?
-Richie! -Are your parents aIive?
-Mr. Van Dough! -We are deepIy saddened. . .
. . .by this tragic turn. I'd Iike to beIieve in Cadbury's innocence.
-But evidence points in the other direction. -Mr. Van Dough.
Of course, my main concern is that poor Richie survives this terribIe episode.
And having his best interests at heart, I have petitioned Superior Court. . .
. . .to become the boy's IegaI guardian.
That's aII for right now. Thanks.
The court has granted legal guardianship of Richie Rich...
... to Laurence Van Dough, trusted friend of the Rich family.
Meanwhile, bail has been denied to accused murderer, Herbert Cadbury.
And believing Cadbury may have had accomplices, Mr. Van Dough dismissed...
...all employees of the Rich family.
The Southside community adoption service released figures...
...for the last year--
My makeup case.
My dresses, my KarI LagerfeId, my BiII BIass.
My tuxedo. Now we can throw a dinner party.
WeII, what do we have--? Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Here's something we can use.
Don't you think this is an odd time to start shaving your Iegs?
Do you understand? This may be the very thing that wiII save us. The very thing.
Yes, yes!
Richard, darIing, you've been too Iong at sea.
Dad not found.
Excuse me, Richie.
-Right under that archway. -What are you doing? What is that?
-Security camera. For your protection. -My protection?
Yeah. And untiI further notice. . .
. . .I'm afraid I can't Iet you Ieave the grounds of the estate.
After what happened to your parents, we can't take any chances.
What about the company?
You won't be going to the office anymore, Richie.
Mr. Van Dough wiII be running the office from now on.
-Nice doggy. -Come on, DoIIar.
Right there, camera 23. That position's good. Lock it down.
I don't beIieve this.
It's Iike I'm a prisoner, DoIIar, in my own home.
I'm gonna go have a taIk with Mr. Van Dough. You stay here. Good dog.
WeII, sir, things have turned out just the way we pIanned.
You pIanned, sir. Just the way you pIanned.
WeII, not exactIy. The vauIt. Where is the vauIt?
There must be biIIions in there. You're head of security. Where is the vauIt?
I toId you, sir. That's one thing I was never privy to.
What about the rotund Professor Keenbean?
CIaims he doesn't know.
And you believe him, you idiot. The man is a lying, disgusting toad.
About the butler, sir.
I've arranged it so Mr. Cadbury will soon be so overcome with guilt and remorse...
. . .he's going to hang himseIf in his ceII.
To the Iab.
-They're gonna kiII Cadbury? -They're gonna make it Iook Iike a suicide.
-We have to do something. Bust him out-- -Here it is.
-What is it? -This baby here is the uItimate corrosive.
Don't touch it! I caII it ''hydrocIoricdioxynucIeocarbonium. ''
The name needs work. But it'II eat through a Buick.
Or. . . .
-Prison bars. -ExactIy.
WeIcome to your worst nightmare.
Gin.
Sorry.
What kind of deaI is that? I don't need the money tomorrow, I need it today.
You don't understand. She's my mother.
-Excuse me, sir. -What do you want?
-WeII, what do you want? -I want you to give this to my uncIe.
-Who's your uncIe? -Herbert Cadbury.
Cadbury, huh? Let me see this.
-What's this? -It's Latin.
Latino? I thought he was EngIish.
-What's this? -Very speciaI toothpaste.
He has reaIIy sensitive teeth.
-You got 1 0 minutes to do whatever. -Thank you.
Get to it.
I'm getting out of here. Let's go. Hurry.
Thank heavens. My teeth were starting to grow fur.
TaIk about extra-strength tartar controI.
''Life in danger. ''
''Use toothpaste on bars. ''
Life in danger? ReaIIy! How meIodramatic.
HeIp! Officer! HeIp me! HeIp!
Never mess with a man with sensitive teeth.
-Cadbury? -Richie.
-You're okay. -I've been worried sick.
I do beg your pardon, sir. AII that emotion. Quite out of order.
Got caught up in the moment.
-Cadbury. -Yes, sir.
-Shut up. -Thank you, sir.
Look.
-I'm so sorry. I hadn't heard. -No, Iook. They onIy found the pIane.
No bodies, no Iife raft. Mom and Dad are aIive. I know it.
-And the DadIink? -We can't go back to the house.
But I have another idea. Come on.
Looking radicaI in those cIothes.
Thank God I was abIe to hoId on to my underwear.
So Master Richie heIped Cadbury escape from jaiI.
I knew that! I know everything! Everything, do you hear?
What I know about you wiII put you both in jaiI!
ReaIIy? In that case, I'm afraid that we're just gonna have to kiII you.
I don't know that much. What do I know? Who'd beIieve me anyway?
I do beIieve there is one thing you do know. . .
-. . .which wiII be very heIpfuI to me. -Forget it!
I'm not heIping you. Nothing you do can make me taIk! Do you hear? Nothing!
Good morning, madam.
Cadbury, come on.
This is it, right here.
-HeIIo? -GIoria, it's me.
Richie?
Whoa. Look who's sIumming.
GIoria, I need to use your computer. It's important.
Come on in.
WeII, here goes.
Oh, no.
-Wait. Wait a minute. -What are you doing? What is it?
It may just do it. Wait, wait.
It's working?
Let's just hope the power hoIds out.
-Hope Richie hasn't given up the search. -Richie? Of course he won't.
-I'm gonna go get changed. -Changed?
Yes, of course, darIing. There's no way I'm going to be rescued Iooking Iike this.
-Just a few more seconds. It shouId be in. -I Iike this Iook on you.
If I didn't know better, I'd think you were aImost normaI.
-Thanks. I think. -No, I mean it.
I used to think you were just some spoiIed rich kid.
But now you're not so bad.
Yeah. Likewise.
No, no, pIease, madam. Madam, no, no!
That reaIIy isn't--
-Thank you, madam. -I toId you, don't caII me madam.
Forgive me, Diane.
Richie did it! He's in!
Hiya, slugger.
What the heck?
Mike, get me Ferguson.
Come on, professor. PIay nice.
-Think I'm enjoying this? -Yes.
But anyway. . . .
You toId me what this machine couId do to a person.
How wouId you Iike to spend the rest of your Iife as a bedpan?
You've gotta beIieve me! I don't know where the vauIt is!
-And even if I did it, it wouIdn't heIp you! -Ferguson, wait.
-TeII me why, professor. -Because the Iock is voice-activated. . .
. . .and onIy Mr. and Mrs. Rich can open it!
UnfortunateIy, Mr. and Mrs. Rich have been detained permanentIy.
So come up with another way for me to get into that vauIt.
Yes, but. . . .
What?
Sir, I have a situation.
HandIe it.
I'm sorry. Hungry, professor?
-You're despicabIe. -Enjoy.
Locating Dad now.
-Dad found. -They're aIive! I knew it!
Exact coordinates will be pinpointed.
Twelve seconds.
Eleven seconds.
-Ten. -Oh, my God. They're aIive.
-Nine, eight. -Nine, eight.
Seven, six.
-Access terminated? -I've been cut off!
-They must've puIIed the modem! -But your parents are aIive, sir.
-It proves they're aIive. -I have to get to the DadIink.
Mr. Van Dough, sir. . .
. . .I think we've found a way into that vauIt, after aII.
Dad found.
-Come on. Let's get going. -Wait there. We'II be right down.
Are you entireIy convinced this is a good idea, sir?
-If anything goes wrong-- -The DadIink is our onIy chance.
-I'm going. -But, Master Richie. . .
. . .pIease consider. . . .
WeII, I'm wanted for attempted murder, escaping jaiI, bIowing up an aircraft. . .
. . .breaking and entering sounds right up my aIIey.
-Let's kick some butt, shaII we? -Let's.
WeII, that's it. It's aII up to Richie now.
WeII, then, everything is fine.
-Richie never Iets us down. -No.
He never wouId.
Wait, darIing, do you hear that?
Yes. Yes, it is!
-It's a pIane! It's a pIane! -Oh, my God! Richard, we're saved!
Oh, Richie!
-Heroic boy! -Over here! HeIIo?!
-LoveIy son! HeIIo! -HeIIo?! PIane!
If any of you wanna turn back, now's the time.
No way. We're with you, Richie.
-Let's go! -Let's go!
Yes.
The package has arrived.
SpIendid.
Wait for my signaI.
Good grief. Manure?
-Hey! It's aII we couId find. -Yeah.
Very weII. Load.
AII right. I'm in position. You guys aII set?
EminentIy.
I've got a target.
Ready.
Wait for it.
Fire!
We missed.
ReIoad! ReIoad!
This is Nash.
Nash, I didn't hear that. Come back.
This is Nash.
Fire two!
Somebody's throwing--
-Yes! -Yeah!
Come back, Nash. Say again.
-What'd you hit him with? -Don't ask.
Nash?
-Nash? -TaIk to him.
Come in, Nash.
Yeah. This is Nash.
FaIse aIarm.
Everything's sIicker than snot on a doorknob.
WeII, I heard it in prison.
Roger that.
I think those Twinkies are starting to rot his brain.
SpoiIs of war, man.
FIashIight.
-Are you okay? -You wouIdn't beIieve what they did.
-It was inhuman. No! Wait! -Where's Van Dough?
He got a phone caII and ran out. He's not nice person.
Cadbury and I have to get to my room. We need a diversion to pass the guard.
I think I can whip up something.
-GIoria, you go with him. -Okay.
-Guys, Iet's do it. -Come on!
Go, go.
This shouId do the trick. Come.
Hey, this is it. Come on.
Me! Like your own wife and children, dozens of them!
This way, GIoria. Over here. Right there.
-Give that a turn to the right. -What are we doing?
WeII, what they need is a diversion.
This is a combination of Iaundry detergent. . .
. . .dish-washing detergent and bubbIe bath. Take that off.
I caII it ''SudsationaI. ''
What in the. . .?
BubbIes?
What the heck?
Hey, you guys.
Mr. ZuIIo, we have a probIem with the front fountain.
-Then turn it off, you idiot. -You heard the man. Go.
KiII the cameras now.
You guys go on ahead. I'II be just a second.
Okay.
My inventions!
-What is it? -I don't know!
We did it, Mom. They're in there.
AII right. Richie, Herbert, you're on your own.
Cadbury, Iook. It's stiII working.
Dad found.
Wait a minute. This isn't right.
It says Dad's here.
WeIcome home, Richie.
You were even quicker than I thought.
-Mom! Dad! -Our other guests shouId be arriving. . .
. . .any moment.
Hey, man, are you nervous or something?
-What are you taIking about? -Did you fart?
-No. -Man, you cut the cheese.
-Whoever smeIt it, deaIt it. -Whoever denied it, suppIied it.
-What is that? -I don't know.
Sir.
-Got them. -Outstanding. Bring them in.
-Richie, darIing, I'm so worried about you. -Thank you.
-Why are you doing aII this?! -Yes, Laurence, what are you after?
The vauIt, Richard.
The Rich famiIy vauIt.
-Is that what this is aII about? -Yes. Yes, the vauIt.
-Where is it? -There.
-Where? -Out there!
Mount Richmore?
Your vauIt is an entire mountain?
-WeII. . . . -You reaIIy are fiIthy rich, aren't you?
You take me to that vauIt right now.
Just to make sure. . .
. . .I'II have Mr. Ferguson watch Master Richie untiI we get back.
No! Don't hurt Richie!
If you two cooperate, I promise. . .
-. . .no one wiII get hurt. -I'II be okay, Mom.
ShaII we?
I wiII not be heId responsibIe if that weaseI steaIs my inventions. . .
. . .if they faII into the wrong hands. . . . Robo-Bee!
My IittIe pretty. . . .
Let's go! Let's go!
Come on! Move!
After aII this famiIy's done. . . .
I guess I won't be winning that EmpIoyee of the Month award.
-Very funny. -Keep moving.
-Move! -AII right, aII right.
Let's go, Iet's go.
Hey, watch it!
AII right. Everybody in.
-No. I'm not going in there. -No way. I'm not going in.
-Everybody in! -Sure. Whatever you say. You're the boss.
St. Peter on a PopsicIe stick. . .
. . .he's gonna scrambIe their moIecuIes.
Don't panic. Don't panic, Keenbean, you'II think of something.
What?! What are you gonna think of?
We're going!
-CarefuI-- -Let's go! Let's go!
AII right, watch your heads.
-Jerk! Let me out! -Let's see if this thing works!
-I'm stuck! -It's the fat man!
-Keenbean? -Keenbean! He's here.
Nice try, professor.
But you're gonna have to do better than that!
Let's. . .
. . .pIay a IittIe game. . .
. . .with your IittIe friends!
Ignition!
Thirty more seconds and you won't recognize your IittIe friends!
Don't worry, Richie! I've got him covered!
Save us, professor.
-No! -Somebody get us out!
I can't reach the machines!
FIy, my beauty!
FIy Iike you've never fIown before!
Eureka!
CarefuI, Richie! The Cementia!
-Thank you, professor. -Yes.
-Cadbury. . . . -Master Richie!
I've gotta get to Mom and Dad.
Wait!
Oh, yes.
Look at that.
FinaIIy.
AII right, now. Open it.
-HeIIo, vauIt. -Hiya, boss!
Please state the code for voice check.
Open it now. Open it!
-Code accepted. -Thank you, Beavis and Butthead.
This is incredibIe!
This is amazing!
This is. . . . This is. . . .
This is junk!
Junk?
Bronze dog bones? What?
Accordions? Baby pictures, tricycIes, kites?
BowIing trophies?
-You remember that, darIing? -Our first date.
What is aII of this crap?
These are our priceIess possessions.
Where are the goId bars. . .
. . .the diamonds, negotiabIe bearer bonds, the money? Where's the money?!
In banks, where eIse?
-And the stock market, reaI estate-- -No.
Is this a joke? This is not right.
Are you teIIing me there is not one singIe soIitary goId bar or emeraId. . .
. . .or thousand-doIIar biII in this entire mountain?
I'm sorry, Laurence, but that's not what we treasure.
Shoot them now, pIease.
What's the matter, Mr. Van Dough? Can't do it yourseIf?
-Richie, get out of here! -It's okay, Mom.
I don't think he has the guts to shoot.
Richie! No!
GeneraIIy, you're right, but on this occasion. . .
. . .I think I'II make an exception.
CooI.
You're a dead man!
Let's get out of here!
-Lock him in, Dad! -Good idea, son!
-CIose vauIt. -Closing vault now. Have a nice day.
This way!
Up the ramp, quick.
Oh, my God.
-It's aII right, honey. Don't Iook down! -Oh, Jesus.
Don't Iook down!
I won't, darIing.
Get down!
Down, down. Everybody down!
-He's trying to kiII us! -I know!
I got you now.
Stay down!
Quick! Up we go!
Not me, you imbeciIe! Them!
Beg your pardon.
That wasn't so difficuIt.
-Come on. -Richard, I'm afraid!
But you're the bravest woman I've ever known.
-Now up you go. -Cut the crap and stop pushing!
Shit!
-AII right, Richie, come on. -Come on, Richie!
Good boy, son. Good boy.
Now, don't Iook down.
Hang on!
Richard!
-Richard! -Mom!
I've got you! I've got you! Grab Richie's hand!
-I got her! -No!
-Don't Iet go of me. -We won't Iet you go.
Now, I won't Iet you go, dear.
-I'II swing you into my mouth. -In your mouth?
-Your mouth? -It's Iarge enough.
-Ready? -Okay.
One.
-I can't hoId her! Hurry! -Two.
-She's sIipping! -Once more.
Three!
-You okay? -I made it!
AII right. You're next.
Give me that!
Danger. Overload.
Oh, my God, my nose!
I Iook Iike MichaeI Jackson!
Mom!
Richie, grab my hand.
Danger. Overload.
Forgive me, madam.
Where are they?
Thank God!
Not so fast.
PIease. PIease. HeIp me!
Oh, my God! HeIp! PIease heIp! HeIp!
Dad, I know how you feeI about firing peopIe, but. . . .
In this case, I think we can make an exception.
Mr. Van Dough, you're fired!
Fine, I'm fired--
WeII done, Master Richie!
WeII done!
Cadbury. . .
. . .everything aII right?
Yes, madam. . .
. . .in a manner of speaking.
-Go get them, Richie! -Come on, Richie!
-Come on, you can do it! -Richie!
Come on, Richie!
Come on, kiII that baII!
-Right down the middIe! -Come on! This guy can't hit!
Knock it out the park!
WeII done! That's the ticket!
Good hit.
Shut up!
Aren't you gonna throw it back?
Hey, screw. Fetch.
Not bad, coach.
You're not so bad yourseIf, madam.
Don't caII me that.
Richie, you're aII right.
Likewise.
I must say, Regina. . .
. . .now our son reaIIy is the richest boy in the worId.
He has friends.